


Rust to Rust

by millygal



Series: Death of the Cortina! [1]
Category: Life on Mars (UK)
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 13:43:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10698231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/millygal/pseuds/millygal
Summary: Ray's about to have his arse handed to him...





	Rust to Rust

**Author's Note:**

> Green ~~Cortina~~
> 
> Just crack and daftness. You know me =P Title, cut text and bunny thanks to Elf, she cracks me up....litterally ;)

Ray can only just make out the huge blinking tail lights of the Dodge Matador as it careens round yet another corner. They've been chasing it for nearly twenty minutes and the idiots in the car in front don't seem to be tiring. Despite the fact they've only run a bloody red light.

Who runs a red light then flees from the cops? It's not like they ran down a kid or anything, why leg it?

Ray'd only been given the sodding car keys to go and get the Guv another box of ciggies, now he's chasing a pair of pricks through the arse end of Manchester and desperately trying not to dent the bonnet or scratch the paint work.

Fucking wonderful.

Chris's sat in the passenger seat, squeaking and gripping the arm rest like it's the last life raft on a sinking ship. Sodding cheek, his driving's not that bad. Admittedly Ray's taken every corner for the last mile and a half on two wheels but that's only because the gits in the Dodge won't lay down and die.

There's no way he's going back to the pub without nailing them. Even if the Guv is gonna rip him in two for taking his baby on a joy ride.

Snatching up the radio, Ray signals the station and hopes that Phyllis's is on instead of that idiot Jimmy, "867 to Alpha one, come in, Phyllis, you there?"

"Aye, Alpha one receiving, what's up Ray?"

"In pursuit of a green Dodge Matador, heading..shit! Chris, where are we?" 

"South bank, just off main Strictland"

"You get that Phyllis?"

"Yea, I'll pull in the cars I can...get plod down there too"

Signalling off, Ray turns to Chris and raises an eyebrow, "How'd you know where we was?"

Chris points frantically at the road and screws his eyes shut, "The road Ray, the fuckin' road!"

Ray throws the Cortina round another corner and almost takes the front bumper off, "Argh!"

"Shut up you div, my drivin' ain't that bad"

Chris hides his head in his arms and snorts, "Try bein' this side of the bloody car!"

Ray shakes his head and hurtles along behind the Dodge, gritting his teeth and praying to whatever god might be listening. _Please don't kill the Guv's car please don't kill the Guv's car_.

As both cars come barrelling out into the main street, Chris chooses that moment to look up and wishes he hadn't because there's a queue of old ladies at a bus stop and the Dodge's heading straight for them.

As the car in front swerves, Ray hauls the Cortina round a hundred and eighty degrees and lands her right in front of the bus stop.

"Shittt!"

As Chris sees the other car coming straight for them, his short life flashes right before his eyes and he thinks to himself that he really ought to get himself a life.

He hears the crunch, feels the car shunt sideways and hears Ray's grunt of pain then everything goes black.

Ray comes too first, pushes and pulls and manages to yank his legs from under the crumpled steering column, leans across a still unconscious Chris to pop the passenger side door and throws the smaller man onto the pavement.

Ray knows he's not supposed to move him but he can smell petrol and there's no way he's waiting for the Cortina to blow sky high just because of basic first aid.

As he crawls out and flops on top of Chris, he hears the women crouched behind the bus stop all screaming and rushing round and hopes none of them have dropped dead of a heart attack.

As it is he thinks he might have actually shit himself, let alone those poor birds all twittering behind him.

Just as he sees Chris's eyelashes flutter, six marked cop cars come screeching round the corner along with one unmarked that's carrying Sam and the Guv. _Fuck!_

Sam throws himself out first, runs straight for Ray and Chris to check if they're alright. When he sees Ray sat up on the curb, wincing and holding his leg, he lets out a huge breath and crouches down to see about Chris.

"He ok?"

"I..I'm fine, boss"

"What happe...?

"Oh my god!"

Sam hears the Guv shout and rushes to reassure him, "It's alright Guv, no one's dead"

"They fuckin' will be!"

"Wha..." Sam turns, sees Gene sprawled across the remains of the Cortina's bonnet and stifles a laugh. "Nice to know you care so much, Guv"

Gene stands, huffs and puffs and pulls at the drivers side door until it comes off in his hands and he looks almost ready to cry, "Sod them, they're fine..what about my car, my poor fuckin' car!"

Bending down, leaning inside, Gene runs his hands over the ruined dashboard and Sam can hear him mumbling nonsense words of comfort. To a car, to a bloody car!

"It's ok baby, don't worry, we'll get you fixed up right good"

Ray grits his teeth, helps Chris into a sitting position and watches as Gene fumbles with the rear view mirror that's just come off in his hands.

"My car, you've killed her...you've bloody killed my soddin' car" Scooting backwards, standing beside the Cortina, Gene eyes Ray, Chris and Sam over the roof, "This is comin' outta your pay, Carling"

"But..."

"Bad luck, Ray"

"Yours too, Skelton"

"He wasn't even driving!"

"Oh cheers, boss"

"Sorry Ray"

"Don't push me Gladys or you'll be payin' for it too, whether you was in the car or not!"

Sam snorts at Gene, turns back to Chris and Ray and starts checking them over for broken bones, "S'only a sodding car"

"It's not just a CAR!"

"No, now it's scrap"


End file.
